Ah Kwong & Friends

I dunno how to start this thread, and no idea how to express my emo during this post. Some of you guy’s might know what happen on me, and what will happen next to me. I feel sad, and missing; missing somewhere around, i lost my target, i lost all those joy of my life and life not meaningful to me anymore. I should have such result right now, and i not going to blame anyone, i find trouble myself.

Wondering is that good i got such a situation, and i feel lucky still got butch of friends & the lovely one who still stand beside me. But, i’m not the one worth to pitiful and i dont hope to get any help from the anyone anymore. Yes, i’m self fish to let myself life more peace although i’m cheating myself off! I dont know what i can do now, still i’m the one who only can help myself!

Got 1 friend told me you will appreciate once u lose it, i can get a little feeling now… i gonna to losing it and my heart is bleeding deep deep. I dont want it happen to me, i incompetent to change the situation although they say no problem to me, but what i saw is everybody suffering with me together.

You know, i got big sample on my family. I have accompany my mom to pay those installment just now, and yet she keep on complain how bad was someone did to her. I feel no confidence to myself and i have broke most of my promise, yes exactly what my father did last time! I dont want to become the second one, short pain is better than long pain or that is better i suffer alone? I just dun wan to drop someone into the big hole.

I have made my decision, but still refuse to tell… because… i not able to speak out…

“虽有嘉肴，食，不知其旨也；虽有至道，学，不知其善也”

Dear, forgive my willfulness…